I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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