If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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