No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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