Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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