JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
