A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
