Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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