He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
