why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We left an ass print on the piano.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
