Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We need a shit load of segways right now
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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