Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Pappa wants mamma naked
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
it hurts more in the daytime
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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