i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
