I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
