So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
