between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
