His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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