i barfeds in our rink
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She told me I should be a condom model.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
