just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
