Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
