i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
