i just wanna soil my oats bro
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
