we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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