we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
