oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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