He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
