Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
