This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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