Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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