plz talk dirty to me
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
