My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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