I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
