Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
