four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
