It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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