SEEEEXXX PLEASE
thus making me awesome and them whores
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
