I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize