I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
