I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
