dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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