when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want to make a zoo with you.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
