i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
