Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
