Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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