She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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