atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
