shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
