Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
