where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
