We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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