When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
