my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
