We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
