shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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