We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
