Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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