Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
