there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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