Buhtt sex?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize