Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
