what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
