You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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