new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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