He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Are we still banned from the library?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
