I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
